Dreamstime: The man horse and peril!

You've all had those days where you've argued with your best friend about which horse you get to ride. Well, I dreamt about that very same scenario.

M'Colleague and I were in Cyprus getting ready for a horse riding session with a bunch of other holiday makers. The trip to the farm began with a jacuzzi, some champagne and biscuits. We then headed off into a field to choose our perfect horse. Being a fan of horse riding, horses and things with hooves in general, I was eager to find the biggest, sexiest horse I could find.

Naturally, as M'Colleague is half a foot taller than me, she insisted on having a big, black mare I'd had my eye on. Reluctantly I relented and I feared that I'd be stuck with some crappy pony who would creak and crack under my weight.

All the horses had been taken. No horsey for me.

I told the owner and he said he'd find me a horse. I faffed around for a bit awaiting the hoofed delivery. Soon the trees at the edge of the field parted and a massive horse was towering over me. This horse was brown ("I prefer brown horses," I said) and he was fucking huge. Clearly over 20 hands tall (that's a horsey measurement, zombie fans).

I was excited, this was a sexy horse.

I climbed aboard and M'Colleague and I trotted around for a while until I decided that I wanted to gallop and frolick. I left M'Colleague to her small, black horse and trampled off into the woods. In the woods, something happened. There was peril of sorts and my horse collapsed. I was stuck with a massive, dead horse.

Before my eyes MDH (massive dead horse) began to transform into a massive - tall - very alive, man. He could've been a Viking. He was wearing leather, had blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin. He was also very tall and very muscular. After a bit of running around trying to avert some peril (I either don't remember it or I never knew what it was).

There was then some snogging, which I vividly remembered this morning when the dream was all still a blur. It's nice to wake up and think "hang on, who was I snogging?"

The end. No explanation of the peril and I don't know what happened to my Viking.