In the event of Darkness

So, it looks like The Darkness are reforming. My feelings about this are mixed but before I get into that I'm going to give you a history lesson.

The Darkling

In 2003 (I think) I fell in love with a band, a band that would shape my life in more ways than I could possibly imagine. I went on the Darkness forum, I chatted, went to gigs and became a well known Darkling. I helped to create a fanzine. I met the band on more than one occasion. I drank with them. Wrote filth about them. And made some of the best friends of my fucking life.

I also met some of the most vile, awful people ever. I realised that most of the band are actual wankers and I realised that I am better than this.

Better than being a fangirl and it shaped the way I look at music, bands and those crazy fans. I won't go into detail, not here. But the way some people behave when in close proximity to band is ridiculous. I was too young to realise that waiting around for hours in the cold for a band who might not leave through that exit was ridiculous.

Seeing the band react to people like me and how fucking crazy I was (and I was on the very, very low end of crazy fan) made me rethink music.

I met some of the most amazing people, which I'll go into later, and I also realised my calling of becoming a writer and working in some kind of promotion.

The present(ish)

The bands we were given from The Darkness splitting were Hot Leg and The Stone Gods. Two bands I know I could've loved. The problem was that I was seeing the same crazy faces at each gig. I have grown out of being a crazy fan, I've managed enough bands and met enough famous people that the prospect of meeting more doesn't bother me. So standing around in the cold to meet a band containing people I'd already met was boring to me.

And yet that is what I did. I went to a HotLeg gig with someone who falls into the dedicated/crazy/stalkery fan category. She was driving. We waited around for hours in the freezing cold for this band. No sign of them. We eventually buggered off only to walk past a restaurant and see the vile fan we all hated in there eating with the band. That even annoyed me but I then had to endure two hours of ranting as we drove back.

The future

So The Darkness are going to reform, fucking yes! New Darkness music will fill me with joy. As a music fan I want to go to those gigs but I cannot get involved in all the fan politics and if I go to the gigs I will be recognised.

I don't want to talk to those people, I don't want to be involved in anything they are doing. I want to lose myself in catsuits, music and big hair. I don't want my life to be ruled by which country I'm going to be travelling to next to get my Darkness fix. I know it doesn't have to be and I won't let it, I feel enough out of love with the band when they replaced the bassist that I can't fangirl over them.

I just want the music but I know I'll get dragged into gigs with stalkers or I'll be asked to be involved in something that's way above my role of casual fan of their music.

I want to see them live again. For ten thousand reasons that are too difficult to explain. But I don't want to interact with other fans, I don't want to see certain people from my past and I certainly don't want to get involved with any of the politics.

I'm going to leave this post here. I've got two more rants that I will subject you to at a later time.

Yours, Wilde - not a crazy fan anymore


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